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i could almost see it. it's pretty obvious. such an unhealthy environment. a voice inside my head keeps saying that i'll never reach it. yep, so true and saddening. every step that i'm taking and every fucking move i make feels lost with no direction. my faith is shaking but i have to keep trying. should i? should i not? got to keep my head held high. otherwise... sigh. there's always going to be another mountain. another reasoning. i am sick of it. i am already numb and won't take in anymore that's being said to me. the struggles i'm facing, the chances i'm taking, sometimes might knock me down. i may not know it but these are the moments that i'm going to remember most. so hurtful that i'd rather get cheated in a relationship. i am seriously feeling so angry and wish i could just blurt everything here. i am feeling damn vulgar now. i can't take it anymore. just plain bullshit. fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!
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