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going out with my sisters and cousin definitely makes me feel so much younger. you know, when i was in secondary schools, i used to frequent jurong east entertainment centre. now, when i am so much older, there is nothing there for me to shop! having a lot of youngsters and gangsters wannabes around me makes me more sick! anyway, we went out to watch a movie. we watched night at the musuem and definitely not my kind of movie. but just to get myself out of boredom, i followed them. wish i was dreaming but it was real. i don't know. everytime when i am being called "sayang" by you, i felt happy. i felt ignited by that word. it might be just a word that i've been using to call my friends but when it comes from you, it means a lot to me. let me tell you how i feel; its like everyday i die. so, tell me how you feel? are you for real? do you still think of me? it's not that i've been bitten by a love bug. its just what i've been feeling but dare not to let it out. so, blogging here is the best way. when one is angry, one will always say hurt phrases. but do they really mean it? somehow, deep inside you just know that they still love you. when one is giving you another chance to explain yourself, does it mean that they are giving you another chance and still loves you? oh what the fuck am i crapping? why do i feel so sad? why why why? let me show you examples of hurtful phrases.. *even though you are not at fault.. 1. "u tink i am your emotional helpdesk ar" 2. "ur chance came n gone" 3. "u can say anything for all you want now. i wun believe a single thing." 4. "don't disturb me again" 5. "you messed up my life" 6. sigh.. i can't go on anymore.. its better if i stop blogging. |
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i can't believe i took the train to bedok yesterday. the journey felt soooo long that i had listen to almost all the songs in my mp3. but, obviously in the end i reached my destination. spent the whole day and night and hendri's house; looking after her because she is sick. i guess that is the sweetest thing i have ever done in my whole life. hheheheh. i would like to thank my dear fadz for fetching me. all the way to the east. oh yeah, i have another addition to my spongebob's collection! now, a mouse! yeahhh!!! i am so happy. thank you for the gift, hendri. i really love it so much.
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"love me or hate me its still an obsession.. love me or hate me that is the question. if you love me then; thank you, if you hate me then; fuck you." is love really the strong emotions for us? somebody, please give me an answer. love can be wonderful. love can be heart wrecking. sigh.. "sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu. . setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu.. menanti sebuah jawaban untuk memilikimu.. aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu." i'll never get over you getting over me. you are the only one i've ever loved.. as long as the star shines from the heaven.. as long as the river flows to the sea.. kenapa harusku bercinta. kenapa ku begini. kenapa harus ku tanggung semua. kenapa harus ku percaya.. kenapa harusku diperbodohkan.. ok, guys, know what? someone told me that toni braxton's song titled spanish guitar is a great song for making love. :P and i replied to that person that i've tried and tested. lol, obviously just kidding. i am so in the sentimental mode.. i shall go off now and listen to love songs, will be back for more updates. hehe..
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we are hitting the beach again and hopefully it won't rain. at last, i am going out of this house with my family. its so bored to just be at home and rotting. even if i were to chat, i only chat with liz and we do crap. right, liz? heheh.. ok, mama's menu for today's outing.. 1. fried kway teow (spicy!) 2. deep fried chicken wings 3. tidbitsssssss! (i love!) willl continue my next entry after the trip. toodles!
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i had funnnn on 22/12/06! i went to mcc ubin lagoon resort. well, mcc stands for marina country club. don't think it's a grand place because its under mcc. out of 5, i'd give the resort 3/5. the other 2 points.. the facilities weren't working. honestly, i was quite disappointed when i saw the room. not that perfect. anyway, it's cheap. 120 per night; a good deal! for those of you who loves to enjoy peace and tranquility(?), that place is definitely for you. as for me and my cousin, its not really a place for us. no macho guys and the pool were so dirty. not to mention the jacuzzi as well. we took lots of pictures too. i even brought along my camcorder thinking it must be a nicee place. haha. but i don't know why, i enjoyed myself sooooo much. on the second day, we went for an island tour. we walked quite a mile and took photos of malay kampungs and came across fewww scary incidents. i would love to visit the main island again to just go for an adventure. but this time, equipped with proper footwear and clothings! actually, wouldn't mind going to mcc ubi lagoon resort again BUT must bring along PSP, XBOX, card games & radio! :D *guys, if you want to view all the photos, i have it on yahoo!. please leave a message at the tagboard and i will invite you. tooo much to post here. you know me guys, i love snapping photos! :D
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alas! i can access to this page. i've been trying to update my blog for the past 3 days! argh. i don't want to have freaking long entry but i shall just summarise everything. actually, nothing much. just that first time ever in my life, 20 years, i am so sick that i kept vomoting and visiting the toilet. it was so hard to sleep. i feel anorexic. the thought of food makes me puke. now i'm only eating fruits. seriously, i just hate yellow mee now to the max. yesterday when i went out with my sister to pay my bills, i went to the supermarket just to spend on fruits and all those fruit juices. looks like i'm up for a healthy diet. JUST KIDDING! if i were to lose weight, it would be because i keep vomiting and shitting! hopefully i will get well sooner or later. by hook or by crook, friday is an important day for me. i need to get well so that i can do any activities and have my dinner anywhere i want without any worries that i feel like puking. 4 years. sweetness. i bought all the gifts and can't wait to give it to you. i just want to see your reaction(s). :) ok, you called. you want to go ubin? sounds interesting. ok, shall wait for you call again while i sit on my bed and finish up my fruits!
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THE AUTHOR: HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH LOVE SONGS! help me. i am so in love with love songs. i don't know why but everytime when i listen to any love songs, i feel so affected. i think number of love song tracks are increasing in my mp3. ok, it has to rain when i am about to blog about love. just the right mood, right? anyone can give me an answer on what love is? i can't define the word love. it has lots of meanings and people see love in many different ways. you know, they have this popular saying which goes; i can't live without you? i definitely don't believe in that phrase. haha, what a joke. if ever a guy were to say that to me, it would be such a turn off. i can be romantic but not to the extend of i can't live without you. literally, it means that your partner is your oxygen is it? since you can't live without him/her. i admit i used those words before but as i sit and think, i think its useless. i'm sure up to this point, some of you might think that i am crapping and this is all lame. you know what? i don't give a damn. this is my blog and my say. comments? leave it on the tagboard. haha. i feel like sleeping just by listening to all these easy listening songs.. it just gives you the mood for intimacy between you and your beloved? *giggles* as much as i don't want the rain to stop pouring but i have to pray it will stop. i don't want to go out; raining~ today is saturday and by hook or by crook, i have to get out of this house! it's so darn bored staying home all day. will probably go out for lunch, movie, dinner . those kinda stuffs. [intermission] ok. i'm back after 15 minutes youtubing. the rain has stopped! the sun is out! till then.. i'm going off for now! "i'd anything for you"
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 i know. you guys must be wondering why i posted such a picture, right? of course there is an explanation behind every picture. to me, this picture means a lot. to some people out there, they think its crap. :) my aunt knows me well. she knows what kind of 'crap' i love to eat. even though i am known for my big sized body, i don't have a big appetite. sometimes, half a plate of rice i can't finish. reason for my big sized body is because i eat lots of tidbits and deep fried stuff! well, i'm not embarassed to post it here because its the reality. hehe. ok, back to the topic.. on thursday evening, my brother and i followed our aunt to a supermarket. we just tagged along because we were bored. until we reached this frozen section, my aunt asked me whether i want any nuggets or hotdogs. i replied her politely saying that i don't want. she insisted on me taking but i was toooo shy to take even though i was eyeing on this japanese crispy chicken with beancurd wrappings. :P to avoid her forcing me to take something, i walked further ahead. then suddenly she tapped me from behind asking me whether the nuggets and hotdogs are enough. i blushed silently and nods. i continued walking when i turned around, she took more stuffs. look at the picture above. i felt like crying. not saying i'm a crybaby but i was so touched. how thoughtful of her! thank you so much. i will remember that day forever. it may be something small but to me.. its something someone has never ever done to me. when i thanked her, i looked down. i just can't face her and look her in the eyes. hehehe.. so dramatic huh? |
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i am so tired today and it's only 5 in the evening. i slept late last night due to erm.. something. well, its worth the tiredness. went out with my cousins for a swim together with my little prince. he's just so cuteeee! we decided to have our lunch at macdonalds but changed our mind and stayed home to just order pizza. first time ever i ate the new orleans baked rice. quite nice. later, i have to follow my auntie to do some groceries shopping. oh yeah, last night, i received a call from Alvin. i'm so happy to know that you have changed for the better. and sorry i can't come to your engagement ceremony because i will be out of singapore by then. i wish you and your future wife the best of luck in everything you guys do. alvin, please treasure her and don't hurt her. how sweet.. childhood friends. as for me, i am happily attached. i am celebrating my anniversary soon anyways. another thing, you never failed to tell me ghost stories at the park behind your house! lol.. take care when you are in taiwan! 8 more days to my big day. i don't know what to do. i have this idea but not sure whether it will work. maybe i should just give it a try. i think i am falling sick. oh yeah, talking about falling sick, finally i got to play in the rain last night! such a wonderful feeeeling. so cute to see you running with the plastic bags and whining about your shoes. hahaahah. i want things to go well for the both of us... no more fightings please. i misss you! muacksss. sayang dia tebal tebal.
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will one admit that he/she has changed? obviously not for the better but for the worst? i will admit if i have changed and i will realise it myself. i am not talking about physical appearance but attitude. i'm sure you are aware yourself that you have changed a lot. i don't want to go deeper into this topic as it will just piss me off. to that person, i hope you read this entry. last time, whenever i have a message and i replied to whoever who messages me, you will think that i am having an affair. i can't message someone continuously because you will think i am having an affair. haha, you are hilarious. now, its my turn to do you back. how does it feel for me to think bluntly that you are having an affair since now you are the one now who keeps messaging even in the middle of the night while working. aiyoh. waste time even thinking of it. i shall wish shira and zyzy, liz and man the best holidays! guys, take good care of yourself ok? don't get too drunk and don't forget to buy things for me. HAHA. just kidding only. till then... "populace in two"
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ok, this is my second entry for the day. i was watching deathbed on star movies earlier and was motivated to blog. hope you guys will be entertained with this post and comment on it if you disagree. we often take our lives for granted especially when we're young. we thing we're going to live forever. but from one moment to the next, nobody knows what will truly happen, right? we could be alive and well one moment and then.. dead the next. this actually shows the value of life and the uncertainties of death. to me, death is the 'great unknown', and that is why it is so scary and frightening. also, we think the inevitability of death long before it happens which can be very worrying. this fear and suffering keeps us from thinking seriously about death as it impedes our happiness. all of us are equal as far as life and death are concerned; we are all going to die. so it is very equal that death will happen to everybody. everyone has to go and however, before we die, can we live properly? properly being living life and enjoying life and not being sucked in by your surroundings and thought. i am determined to live properly until i die. if we are going to die, then we have to live the best we can. like the saying goes; to live well is to die well. that takes on great meaning, right friends? if our life is filled with being caught in the restraints of pain and suffering, then our life doesnt't have the same kind of meaning as if we live in freedom. ok, another example. hearing the doctors' words, "you have cancer, you may live for six months". this completely overwhelms the listener. the fear, the idea that i'm going to die in six months takes away all peace and joy of living life. before the doctor tells the person they had cancer, they had the capacity to enjoy themselves with their friends. however, once the doctor informs them of the tragic news, they have lost all the capacity to sit and enjoy a cup of tea or enjoy a meal because they are so afraid of the moment when they will die. sigh.. death comes unexpectedly. once can't bargain with death. our challenge as people is to improve ourselves to live happy, fulfilled lives. therefore death becomes something, which stimulates us, motivates us to help us live in solidity and freedom.
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i had a good weekend. that's because my family and i went for a picnic. even though it was a short one, we still enjoyed ourselves. only thing that my saturday were ruined because of a stupid dramatic fight. actually that was my first time ever witnessing a fight. bottles were thrown everywhere and chairs too. quite dramatic. even the disc jockey were pissed as hell and was cursing over the microphone. my friend's boyfriend advised me to leave the place but i refused to budge. hahahaha. i just wanted to watch the fight. oh yeah, also, my first time ever club hopping. we went to ministry of sound earlier and as the crowd gets bigger and bigger, we moved to ipanema instead. hahaha. anyways, we ended our night at macdonalds for super early breakfast!
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"one very special moment can turn a destiny". my blog is the only avenue for me to thrash things out. what about you, guys? even though some might beg to differ; that online journal has no privacy since it can be seen by the whole world, i don't care. my blog, my words, my thrash and you don't bother. especially when you are unhappy with something, you tend to vent it here or even if you are unhappy with someone, you tend to tell things here too, right? so, to me, i don't see any wrong if i talk shit about you here. not my intention to bring you down but its just how i feel. because, if i were you, i would be happy to know that you criticise me. that is my only way to improve myself. this is me when i am on the positive side. lol. i honestly dislike communicating with someone who is so fickle-minded. hate is too strong for a word to describe you but sometimes, i really really don't like you. you don't know what you want. with your mood swinging like a pendulum; constantly swinging, i give up. i don't know how to handle you anymore. why must it always be me treating you right? think twice, mr. if you think you are using me so that your life would be much easier(you know what i am talking about), i have used you FIRST! in fact, still using you. hahahah. you deserve it, jackass. if you think my father owns a money printing company, you are right. i don't need your money to live. the amount you are paying me currently, not even enough to buy a drink at a club. so save your bucks for your current/future girlfriend. yeah!
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shira said that my fonts are way to small for her eyes. actually, you are right. haha. from my screen, it doesn't look that small. now i know how small the font is. why am i able to update my blog regularly now? that is because i have nothing better to do. after watching bawang putih bawang merah, there is totally nothing for me to do. if i want to clean my room, my room has already been cleaned. thank you bibik! let's talk about the indonesia's sinetron; bawang putih bawang merah. if you guys watched DIA before on SURIA, the storyline is so similar to DIA's. the storyline really gets on to your nerves! you will find yourself screaming, yelling, cursing and even slamming things because of the characters played in that drama. some people will just say, relax, its only a drama. at times, when we get tooo emotional, we will try to relate the 'its-only-a-drama' to reality. i won't say much about it here as it is too personal. actually, i am not really interested in watching those idiots get their retribution. i just want and need to know whether, in the end ferdi will be with alya back again. i know all these dramas will have a happy ending but i can't wait. its toooo draggy. cut it short man!! haha.. i once read from this website saying that ferdi will be with siska? and andre will be with alya? complications happened and in the end ferdi with alya. eh, honestly, i don't know what i am talking about also. just by blogging about it, makes me pissed. hahaahah. anyone, who knows the ending of bawang merah bawang putih, please leave me a comment! i truly appreciate it! last night, before going to sleep, for the first time ever, i listened to class 95. indeed true from what the slogan says; best mix of music. i was feeling a little bit down and the songs they played seems to go with my flow of mood. for your information, my mood changes very very quickly! i listened till its the break of dawn. memories lingered.. tears rolled down.. you see me as one tough girl but i can be quite vulnerable at times. i am very soft inside. very sensitive. i can take jokes. i mean real mean jokes but i do have limits; of course. when i was about to fall asleep, they played laura pausini's song entitled its not goodbye. ouhhh dear. i love this song so much. it was so touching that i was CRYING for no reasons. actually, i do have my own problems but nothing big. nothing heavy. another good song from class 95's playlist is also from anthony hamilton entitled dear life. soundtrack taken from the movie step up. " early was the morn. flowers filled with dew. i became SOMEBODY through loving you."
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 our tickets to shopping paradise! :D loook at the donuts! colourful right? wearing the robe given by the hotel. i feeeel niceee! :D playing with the entrance door ala london's entrance! :D |
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if its not because of my friends, i wouldn't have updated my blog. i'm not really a blogger like my sister. no matter what, she will find time to update her blog. the reason why i've not been updating is because, nothing interesting has happen. erm, nope, actually.. there is. i went on a short trip to batam. for relaxing and shopping. it was just a 2 days 1 night trip. even though it was a short trip, i really enjoyed myself. on my next post, will be pictures of me having fun in batam. oh yeah, never ever have i went for a foot reflexology before. when i was in batam, in goodway hotel, they have foot and body massage servie. as in they will come to your room and 'serviced' you on our bed. as my body has so many ticklish parts, i decided to just go for the foot reflexology. it was sooooooooooooo cheap. in rupiah anyways. hahah. the massage was good just that the aftermath of the massage; chest pain, heart pain everywhere also pain. hahaha. tell you guys, we shopped till we drop. hahah. so far, that is the most interesting event that happened since i last blogged. i choose not to talk about my previous job here because it will really get on my nerves and i don't want to cause any commotions. i can't help it but i have to say this. chinese malaysians, know your roots. you come here to work. to earn money. get a freaking life and stop torturing us! its so ironic that that company is well known for its security and stuff. you know like protecting the nation . . bla bla. . so, why is it that you have been employing foreigners to look after SINGAPORE? i wish i can curse that freaking company here. i don't need your dirty money in my bank! without your money, i can still survive and go on a wonderful trip to maldives! go and die O M L! now that i have left that filthy company, i am so much happier. i've not clubbed for like 4 - 5 months and last saturday, my friends and i went out to club at ipanema! what a wonderful feeling to dance and really enjoy myself. first time ever, i clubbed till 6am in the morning. thanks to my chauffeur that i don't have to take a taxi back home. ROFL. effa effa.. can you get any bad-der? this coming saturday, we are going to club at MOS! they have this event called MILKSHAKE and BAILEYSSSSS! i so can't wait and hopefully there will be more good ordeals for me. to that special someone, if its not love, i wouldn't have done 'it'. and you guys. . don't think the 'it' is sex. seeeeee, dirty minded eh? :P sometimes, you have your attitude too. yes, i won't deny that i am attitude too. sometimes, talking to you really makes my blood boils. instead of being happy for me that my handphone bills dropped drastically, you raked up the past. can you put your sarcasm aside? i know i am sarcastic at times but your sarcasm is so much deeper that just by your words, my heart can bleed without being stabbed. i am so happy that this is the last month of the year. also, our annivesary. 4 years... i still love you the same! i don't know why but i am so looking forward to 2007. haha.. SOMETHING NEW ABOUT THIS BLOGGER: she loves watching tv NOW. she treasures her family members MORE. FAMILY is her TOP PRIORITY. she loves and appreciate her DADDY NOW.
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