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sejujurnya diriku ini masih mengharapkan kamu. let's see. went drinking earlier and because i 'dragged', now i am so on cloud nine in a bad way. to think i can still drive around running errands for mom. why did i drink in the first place? ahh, had quite a productive conversation with someone. thanks for making me realise what my mistake was. i wish to apologise here to you, hendriaty. though i believe its not entirely my fault, i do admit to some matters. i wish things will be fine soon. i don't think i can live this way. i didn't realise that it upset you badly. as honest as i can be right now, i felt like crying while reading all your messages. if there is anything i can do to salvage our relationship, please tell me. i would do anything. i love you. i still.. don't you? thinking back, i know i've been a real jerk to let that happen to you. i was ignorant and oblivious to everything. i never did realise that whatever it is, you were always there for me. what made me wonder most is when you commented about you regret giving up your life for me. do you mind elaborating more on that topic? i do not wish to assume anymore. i am not angry. in fact, i want to beg for your forgiveness. i know its so bad that you won't even consider getting close to me back again. sigh..
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