i hate you but i love you. how's the deal like? i don't feel excited. i don't feel happy. instead, i feel sad. i feel uneasy. i feel awkward. i don't think i am ready yet. i ain't got a choice. please, somebody guide me along this lonely path. so much for promising but in the end just to pretend as if you have never ever promised me anything. anyway, i am not talking about boy girl relationship here. its just the same old problem. i know i am kinda weird at times. i don't always say what is on my mind. you know that i have been hurt by you before; physically. i hope you understand that it is even difficult to even smile or talk to you. i just can't forget.. like i said, forgive i could but to forget the whole incident, it doesn't sound good. on whether it is sincere or not, i will give it a miss ok? i miss home terribly and the most i miss is my dear prince. what is going to happen, i will just let it happen. i kinda wash my hands off everything. on a happier note, my friend will be celebrating her 21st birthday at a club with all her best friends! how cool is that. i am so envious of her to have her friends celebrating and staying out on her birthday. mind you its a weekday. no! i am not hinting at something but really.. she is lucky to have many friends. as for me.. my true friends are like.. lesser than 5? oh well.. as for me.. i just wish for one thing.. on my 21st birthday.. i... i... i don't think i can say it.
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