these few days have been a struggle for me. wandering around helplessly. in the day, i'm busy working but when night comes,i have to brainstorm on where to sleep. i've tried budget hotels, beach, park and also a small hut over at the east area. bathed at public toilets and also community centres. i can't believe i am paying 5 bucks to this cyber cafe just to check on my email and to update my blog. i am sad. i don't know what happened to my mother. after all the trouble and after i've given all the moral support, she is just so nonchalant. i've wasted money on this matter. not a few bucks but hundreds. sigh.. my help are not being appreciated. it was so difficult for me to leave home but everyone especially my mom didn't even persuade me to stay. now i know i am just a thrash in that house. after all the fights and me admitting to hospital, is just nothing to you, huh? in the end, you supported that bloody jerk and followed his games. i've had enough of all these shits. i can't take it anymore. as from today onwards, i officially declare that i am father-less and i don't want to go back that house. not even a single call from her. i am so disappointed in you, never mind mom, go ahead and play along with that jerk's games. i've had it. i don't and never will i understand your sudden view of that fucker. i am beginning to hate you too. i don't know. never mind, now i've become independent and hopefully i will survive till my cousin's wedding. the ones i miss most are my sisters, brother and maid. i wonder whether... argh,. fuck it. now everyone is looking at me. crying in the middle of this stupid and stuffy cybershop!
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